Being in control of your treatment
There are many learning curves throughout this process. The one I am appreciating now is how speaking up about how you are feeling will secure your chances of receiving the help you need.
[This is not advice, just results based on trial and error with my physiology, medication, and treatment. This is graphic and honest and if you don't want to know these personal details don't read]
My first week was rough, In one week I started a pain management, tramadol, to replace my advil. This change to look after my kidneys which will be taking a toll on radiation.
Results: Migraines and extreme fatigue and almost a subtle delirium ( I felt so confused all the time.)
I started Chemo day one also and Radiation. So tough to know what symptom is causing what when you're on 5 different meds and two treatments.
My First weekend was horrible. Saturdays. Saturdays are my day of misery. Who gets anxious about Saturdays? This Crone. Just out of it. I couldn't get out of bed. So much pain, and nausea and migraines and stiffness and delirium.
I stopped taking Tramadol that Monday.
The week continues.
This weekend I was hospitalized, on Saturday. ugggh, well because, ............Fuck it the shits out already. Bloody diarrhea. Bloody fucking Wet fucking. My ass went out partying is what happened and forgot to invite me. I felt so left out.
1 1/2 IV Bags for Dehydration. Sat for 5 hours. Gave me a thing for the painfully rumbly tummy.
Thought that I had Cdif. Dr. also told me that I had a heart murmur, I have never heard that before, but I could feel it. I needed to get my heart rate down, and it was hard but my heart just races sometimes.
I started really feeling like a Tig Notaro case here. If you have to look that name up, Do! She is an amazing comedian and please listen to here special " Hello, I have cancer." It's Dark and funny and exactly the feels.
I have also been noticing a loud ringing in my head. They mentioned something about, how the chemo I'm on can cause some side effects. Well, I'm so happy that I went in and told them everything. Oh man. I have had 8 times of ear-deafening high pitched ringing. Just one ring really... like someone has left their finger on the dial. In a pitch I don't often hear, the octave is that high. A result of Chemo. Had to be immediately taken off, as due to that being possibly irreversible and it gets gradually worse with continued use. That's just dandy. omg! I could not be more grateful to speak sign language. Now just to share with friends more.
Best news of all, the Diarrhea I have to manage as it's from the inflammation of my radiation treatment. That cant stop. That is what's keeping me here. What a trade-off.
So mitigate with diet. My diet has reduced to basically nothing.
White Bread (no whole wheat or grains)
Banana
Apple
(No fruit with seeds)
Chicken
White Rice
I can have a bit of yogurt
avocado
creamy nut butter is okay
Squash
(No Raw or Gassy Veg. )
I'm basically afraid to eat anything else.
My mental health has taken a toll also.
The nausea medications are chemically compounded with Dex. Which has been nice in suppressing my cough, as well as nausea but also making me feel INCREDIBLY Manic.
Like waking up at 4:45am in a panic attack, burning bladder (radiation) and my racing heart and murmur. Needing to make tea for nausea, realizing my pain meds have worn out now and will need to try to eat something (can't take anything on an empty stomach) or it's just painful.
My cough came back too, now that I have stopped chemo. I stopped the nauseants with steroids and dex. I can feel my body coming off them.
But coming and writing this is really decompressing. Seeing out on paper. Now I can see what really matters.
That I would do it all in a heartbeat just so that I can watch my daughter grow up <3
So living like this isn't that great, but I am still alive.
[This is not advice, just results based on trial and error with my physiology, medication, and treatment. This is graphic and honest and if you don't want to know these personal details don't read]
My first week was rough, In one week I started a pain management, tramadol, to replace my advil. This change to look after my kidneys which will be taking a toll on radiation.
Results: Migraines and extreme fatigue and almost a subtle delirium ( I felt so confused all the time.)
I started Chemo day one also and Radiation. So tough to know what symptom is causing what when you're on 5 different meds and two treatments.
My First weekend was horrible. Saturdays. Saturdays are my day of misery. Who gets anxious about Saturdays? This Crone. Just out of it. I couldn't get out of bed. So much pain, and nausea and migraines and stiffness and delirium.
I stopped taking Tramadol that Monday.
The week continues.
This weekend I was hospitalized, on Saturday. ugggh, well because, ............Fuck it the shits out already. Bloody diarrhea. Bloody fucking Wet fucking. My ass went out partying is what happened and forgot to invite me. I felt so left out.
1 1/2 IV Bags for Dehydration. Sat for 5 hours. Gave me a thing for the painfully rumbly tummy.
Thought that I had Cdif. Dr. also told me that I had a heart murmur, I have never heard that before, but I could feel it. I needed to get my heart rate down, and it was hard but my heart just races sometimes.
I started really feeling like a Tig Notaro case here. If you have to look that name up, Do! She is an amazing comedian and please listen to here special " Hello, I have cancer." It's Dark and funny and exactly the feels.
I have also been noticing a loud ringing in my head. They mentioned something about, how the chemo I'm on can cause some side effects. Well, I'm so happy that I went in and told them everything. Oh man. I have had 8 times of ear-deafening high pitched ringing. Just one ring really... like someone has left their finger on the dial. In a pitch I don't often hear, the octave is that high. A result of Chemo. Had to be immediately taken off, as due to that being possibly irreversible and it gets gradually worse with continued use. That's just dandy. omg! I could not be more grateful to speak sign language. Now just to share with friends more.
Best news of all, the Diarrhea I have to manage as it's from the inflammation of my radiation treatment. That cant stop. That is what's keeping me here. What a trade-off.
So mitigate with diet. My diet has reduced to basically nothing.
White Bread (no whole wheat or grains)
Banana
Apple
(No fruit with seeds)
Chicken
White Rice
I can have a bit of yogurt
avocado
creamy nut butter is okay
Squash
(No Raw or Gassy Veg. )
I'm basically afraid to eat anything else.
My mental health has taken a toll also.
The nausea medications are chemically compounded with Dex. Which has been nice in suppressing my cough, as well as nausea but also making me feel INCREDIBLY Manic.
Like waking up at 4:45am in a panic attack, burning bladder (radiation) and my racing heart and murmur. Needing to make tea for nausea, realizing my pain meds have worn out now and will need to try to eat something (can't take anything on an empty stomach) or it's just painful.
My cough came back too, now that I have stopped chemo. I stopped the nauseants with steroids and dex. I can feel my body coming off them.
But coming and writing this is really decompressing. Seeing out on paper. Now I can see what really matters.
That I would do it all in a heartbeat just so that I can watch my daughter grow up <3
So living like this isn't that great, but I am still alive.
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