Finding out.

It was in the spring, May and I was having some unusual feminine issues. Not the best for sharing, but for the sake of possibly helping other woman in my situation.... I thought I had a ..... Candida overload in the lower bits. Trying to work around saying it... Feminine issues always seem so mortifying and horrible and embarrasing and hard to talk about. Feelings of being gross, and judged. Its overwhelming.

I was put on antibiotics three times, and the fourth time I brought up web MD and how this symptom could be related to cancer - asking to make sure. She decided to do a pap test to ease my mind. Cervical cancer takes along time to develop I had a clean Pap 2.5 years ago and I wasn't due. Im very young for that threshold so it would be rare and unusual as well as its not a common symptom. 

Sure enough first glance she was alarmed, did the pap test and sent off a referral to colposcopy (early cancer detection for cervical cancer) 

In my sit-in meeting with her my doctor, she is wonderful truly and this is a bit unusual so I understand she wouldn't want to jump to cancer. Anywho. She wants to, let me down..... softly but also give me the nitty-gritty and try to break the ice with, well I have never really seen results like this before. "This is the worst pap test I have ever seen". It came back Abnormal and invasive which meant emergency referrals to colposcopy. 

Shock is a wonderful thing, dissasociated I made a couple jokes and wasn't really taking it seriously. I am sure she thought this also so she did continue to give me a serious talk on how and what this means. But we both left the appointment not sad but just..... kind of dazed. She called me "Good luck" while I left the office. 

Truly silly and awkward. But that's how these things tend to go.

Colposcopy confirmed cancer. She didn't need to look that hard either. Nope she put her finger and thumb together making an ok sign and said your tumor from what I can see is this big -5cm. We have to send you to Tom Baker Cancer Center and you will have a team of doctors sus this out.

Colposcopy is a very painful biopsy. Lots of Bleeding, but somehow we just kept making jokes and laughing through it. Probably that Shock again. I hobbled out and winced when sitting in the car. I slept for the rest of the day.